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Vegetable Jokes


Why aren’t banana’s ever lonely?

…because they come in bunches!


Knock, Knock

..Who’s there?


......Lettuce Who?

Lettuce in and you’ll find out!


Why did the tomato blush?

...because it saw the salad dressing!


Why are you looking so glum?

... * I’ve lost my root vegetable.

don't worry, it will turnip.


Why did the potatoes argue?

...because they couldn't see eye to eye.


Why did the tomato get embarrassed?

...because it saw the chick pea


What did the lettuce say to the celery?

...Quit stalking me.


What is green and goes to summer camp?

...A brussel scout!


What is the strongest vegetable?

...A muscle sprout!


What do you call a retired vegetable?

...A has bean!


What vegetable likes looking at animals?

...A zoo-chini!


What is a zuchini’s favourite sport?



Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?

...because he ran out of juice.


Why did the Tomato go out with a prune?

...because he couldn’t find a date!


What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato whilst on a family walk?



Why do fungi have to pay double bus fares?

...because they take up too mushroom


Why do mushrooms get invited to all the vegetable parties?

...because they are such fungis (fun guys, get it?)


Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield?

...There are too many ears!


What do chickens grow on?



What did one snowman say to the other?

...It all smells like carrots to me


Why don’t eggs tell jokes?

...They’d crack each other up!


What’s the coolest vegetable?

...A rad-ish!


What is small, red and whispers?

...A hoarse radish


What did the sweet potato say to the pumpkin?

...I yam what I yam


How do you fix a broken tomato?

...Tomato paste


What do you call an angry pea?

... Grump-pea.


How did the farmer fix his jeans?

... With a cabbage patch!


Did you hear the joke about the watermelon?

... It’s pit-iful!


What vegetable can you throw away the outside, cook the inside, eat the outside, and throw away the inside?

... Corn


Which vegetable did Noah leave off the Ark?

... Leeks